#89…80 Bottom Lines

#89

GETTING TACKLED IN YOUR OWN ENDZONE…! SHOULD MOST OFTEN…! NOT RESULT…! IN A 2-POINT SAFETY!

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#88

IF MOST OR ALL OF YOUR OPINIONS ARE BASED ON STATISTICS…! THEN YOU ARE IMPLYING…! THAT YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN…! OR DON’T KNOW…! WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING!

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#87

ON A PUNT…! A RANDOMLY BOUNCING BALL…! SHOULD NOT…! HAVE POTENTIALLY DIRE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE RETURN TEAM!

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#86

A DEEPLY ADVANCED SCIENTIFIC EXPLORATION INTO HELMET TECHNOLOGY SAYS…!: SKITTLES…! COLLIDE TOGETHER MORE VIOLENTLY…! THAN MARSHMALLOWS!

#85

ISN’T IT TIME TO RUB THE 10-YARD MEASURING STICKS TOGETHER UNTIL THEY CATCH FIRE AND BURN TO A CRISP?!

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#84

THE ‘BRUCE SMITH RULE’ HAS LED TO SUCH NONSENSE…! THAT IT NEEDS TO BE REVISITED!

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#83

THERE’S DEFINITELY A NEED FOR A…! LESS PSYCHOTIC…! AND A MORE PRACTICAL APPROACH…! TO CALLING TIME OUTS!

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#82

AN ARM MOVING FORWARD…! IS NOT ALWAYS AN ATTEMPT…! TO THROW A FORWARD PASS!

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#81

GIVE DEFENSIVE BACKS A FIGHTING CHANCE…! IN THE FORM OF 5 ADDITIONAL YARDS TO JOSTLE!

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#80

HURRY UP AND STOP…! RUSHING TO JUDGEMENT!

#101…90 Bottom Lines

#101

THE NFL PLAYOFFS SETUP…! NEEDS A SERIOUS OVERHAUL!

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#100

DESPITE BEING SOLD AS SUCH…! SPOTTING A FOOTBALL ACCURATELY IS A HUMAN IMPOSSIBILITY!

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#99

STOP HIRING FEMALE (SIDELINE) REPORTERS…! …WHO DON’T GIVE A DARN!

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#98

TANKING IS REAL…! TANKING IS SMART…! BUT TANKING IS TOXIC! …AND TO SUSTAIN COMPETITIVE INTEGRITY…! THE INCENTIVE TO TANK MUST BE ELIMINATED!

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#97

WHY ARE INJURED PLAYERS OFTEN LEFT ALONE…?! TO HOBBLE ABOUT THE FIELD?!

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#96

STOP THIS INCREDIBLY FOOLISH FASCINATION…! WITH GLOBAL EXPANSION!

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#95

NFL PLAYERS…! ARE NOT…! ENTERTAINERS!

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#94

FIX THE DARN GOAL POSTS ALREADY!

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#93

IT’S NOT 1984…! ANYMORE! WHY DO MOST OF ANY WEEK’S GAMES…?! START AT THE SAME TIME?!

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#92

ANY SCORING PLAY WITH A NEAR 100% SUCCESS RATE…! MUST NOT EXIST!

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#91

DESPITE BEING THE PREFERRED HIRE…! HOMO-SAPIENS CAN NOT EVEN COME CLOSE…! TO OFFICIATING THE CURRENT NFL GAME EFFICIENTLY OR EFFECTIVELY!

#90

HEY NFL GMs…! MAKE…! PARKING…! FREE! (not the way overrated and easily interchangeable GMs you’re thinking of… I mean the real GMs… the owners… the GreedMonsters!)